Yesterday, October 15th, was the end of my 30 day social media blackout and now I sit here to reflect.
At the beginning of September I began to sense I was drowning in a whirlpool of everyday busy-ness. My sense of control had evaporated and no time seemed like my own. I was "busy" for the sake of being busy and I was once again lost in this false idea of what productivity was supposed to look like. The reality was similar to the vision of me running on a hamster wheel and I was growing weary.
My grandmother landed in the hospital and we ran through possibilities from cancer to heart failure. As information was revealed, the timeline for her existence shrunk from years to months. Her story began to emerge as she tried to cope with what was being presented to her by the doctors. The regrets, the dreams, the wishes, and The Truth. It was a stone-cold evaluation of her journey and the lessons she needed to pass along to her listeners. Time is precious and fleeting. It must be spent doing what we really WANT to be doing with the people that we CHOOSE. Sometimes we must make the tough choices to ensure we keep our purpose and true desires at the forefront of our moves. We only get to do this once! This epiphany was a striking catalyst for redirection.
Everything that I was currently caught up in was reduced to basic elements. The focus that I had given precedence in my life had assumed my power and control. I had most certainly been derailed. I had lost sight of my "why" (or my purpose and my passion). I was not producing value, but mental clutter that was piling up all around me. Why was I doing this to myself?! The answer seemed to be...that I didn't know what else to do with my time, so I was just "doing something" - AKA: the hamster wheel.
The act of doing needed to shift to the act of Being (with a capital "b" of course): stop moving and start spending time alone in thought. The overwhelming sense of awe from making this decision was astounding. The layers began to peel back immediately with the simple decision to put ME first. I decided I needed a "Me Month" where I stripped everything down to the basics, and focused on my purpose and true desires, as my grandmother so wisely pointed out. In order to quiet the noise, I logged off of social media with some fears that it would hurt my business connection. This proved to be an excellent move. In fact, my "likes" and "views" went UP when I actually spent my time focused on the "why" first, then action and results. The weight melted off of my shoulders. Then it was time to schedule some massages to reflect and be pampered. Clarity began to fill my body like cool, fresh air. I had broken open. The rest that followed was brilliant...
In this month I have felt gratitude, learned about the depth of “black holes,” and created a concept for “Triangles” that will dictate my next moves. Now, it is time for action after the absorption.